Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Seriously? I finally make a choice for myself. I finally decide that I am not going to be a lazy ass. I try to make a change in my life and I physically am limited. Ugh.

I get it. I know it. I am hard on myself. I expect too much. I know that this is a life change  but I am just so frustrated that there are things I am not physically able to do because of pain.

It isn’t that awesome, accomplished pain/sore you get from working out.. it is actual pain. I mean, from the fibromyalgia  symptoms to my general aches and my inflamed knee. Lord. Annoying.

I am going to see a podiatrist for the arch aches and I am preping myself for plantar faciatis. Another thing. Part of me wishes I was a hypochondriac but shit is actually wrong with me.

I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to be okay. I want to be happy.

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Discouraged

Don’t get me wrong, I am not doing this to be a size 2. I am doing it because I want to be healthy. I want to live a long life and I want to be strong for me. Strong for my family. (Here comes the butt. LOL) BUT, I am not losing any weight. I want to lose because I think I am big. Not because anyone else is stating it. meh. I am getting stronger though… which is awesome!

My quads are still sore from Thursday’s workout so today’s kickboxing class was not so smooth. I can’t believe I went today. I am sore. Real sore. Like limping sore AND I still went!

Today’s WW meeting was talking about attitude. I am trying to change so much about me! All good things though. I know I need to figure out the self hate. I can’t deal with the fact that I was getting choked up at a Weight Watchers meeting. At some point, I will believe I am awesome regardless of my size and or weight.

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WW