Meltdown

I am proud of myself. I am amazing. 

We haven’t worked out for 1 whole week. We are traveling. We are in conference. We have made bad food choices. It will be okay. I am the same Jen that is proud of herself and how far she has come. 

I am not a victim. I am better than fine. I don’t have to be 100% every time. It is fine to let it out. Meltdowns are fine.

I’m better everyday. #tearsofawinner #igotthis

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Not Lazy

Today is Tuesday. The last day we worked out was last Wednesday. This has attributed to a lot of body changes. I can’t believe how much of a change there is!

I really am not sleeping very well, I am feeling sluggish through the day and my body just isn’t feeling normal. ::Sigh::

I’m not being lazy, I just have a lot going on! 

But really, I can’t wait to get back to normal life!

Fitbit

After 2 years, my fitbit flex decided it was going to quit me. I don’t necessarily need it, but the encouragement from little dots was more motivating than a person telling me to move forward. LOL 

There’s is something about being a better version of myself that I can really get on board with. The fact that I even consider jogging is beyond me in my head. But my body thinks it is a good idea. With my feet always being a problem and my knee deciding to be constantly inflamed, I feel like I could pass but whyyyyyyyy?

I have come far for myself. I am only going to get better, faster, stronger!

Buying a new fitbit too. 

Trying

When people that haven’t seen me for a while say how good I look or say something about how much weight I’ve lost, I usually say, “Yup, I’m trying!” For the most part people smile and say something positive. But there are a few times when people say, “No, you’re doing it!”

Here come in the strange feelings of being proud of myself and my accomplishments. 

This is all so mental. I am working toward trusting myself to do movements, exercises that I swore up and down that I could never do. That it wasn’t possible for me. I’ve come a long way. And yes, I am trying. Yes, I am actually doing it. 

Here’s my sweaty butt print. LMAO 

You’re welcome.

Nee. The K is silent. 

Runner’s knee. Ridiculous when I’m not a runner, right? Well, tell that to my knees. LOL! Joe Barron was also told he has this. Also not a runner. 

Honestly, I hate when people ask about the kinesio tape. Maybe it is just the way that they asked about it. But having to defend the way that I take care of it, it isn’t any of their business. I guess I am still insecure about the entire thing.. 

Welp. I forgot to post this on Friday, September 9th. It was just really to vent though.

Spam

This is fun. I decided I am having spam, eggs and rice for dinner. It is awesome. 

As much as I should just end there because it is totally a mic drop when we talk about awesome food, I have more about spam. It is that annoying thing we all get in our email inboxes about this, that or explict. LOL. So, it made me think of what happened today. 

This morning, I was pleasantly surprised that Crystal Lynn was inquiring about what the workout was going to look like later today. I am happy that she wanted to join us and was more motivated for today’s workout. 

As the day progressed, I didn’t want to do anything. The fact that there was so much work that needed to be done and I wasn’t near finished made me feel like we needed to skip the workout all together.

Spam. This is spam. That stuff that gets in the way of other things- productive things. 

Pero! Best part of this story is though we didn’t go all out, we still got a workout in! I’m happy CL came with because honestly, I probably would have just stayed working and made that the reason for missing activity today.

Boom

A little better everyday. People are noticing my hard work. I am noticing my hard work. I want this life so bad. It is not a fitness journey. 

It is a fitness lifestyle. 

I still struggle a bit with exercising and making sure I don’t hurt myself. There are more than a few times during a workout when I think I can-but probably shouldn’t do something. I know I need to listen to my body and make sure I do the modifications so that I can work the next day and the day after. Pushing myself so hard that I strain or injured myself again isn’t what I want to do. Obviously. But I am learning to keep myself accountable and really give it my all. I just know that my all today is better than my all last week. I am not at all saying that workouts are getting easier, I am just saying that I am not as miserable or hard on myself. 

I am gaining confidence. 

These changes that I am making in my life have given me more than I ever thought. If anyone thinks that being active and exercising is only for the body, they’ve got it all wrong. I am happier and feel better about myself. I would like to say that it isn’t because of the weight I’ve lost, that I have gained confidence but of course it is part of it. There are just so many things that I thought I could never do or swore I would never get to accomplish. I proved myself wrong so many times. Even being wrong was a hard thing for me to accept in the past. But it is really happening!


Proud

I am not sure of an actual time that I felt genuinely proud of myself. 

Though that may sound horribly sad, I think that because of that it makes me appreciate the feeling that much more! 

Friday was a rough class, I pushed myself. Again, I pushed myself. I have become fairly dependent on Rocky and Dawana encouraging me when I looked and felt defeated by the day, by the workout. But I had to do it alone.

It started off poorly as I failed to leave work in a timely manner to arrive to class on time. But I asked what I missed and caught up with the sweating part. LOL Honestly, I spent most of Friday dreading and worrying that the workout would be horrible because I was alone. 

So as the workout progressed, I tried heavier weights, I tried less water breaks, I tried not watching the clock. I didn’t die. I didn’t faint, I wasn’t behind, I was doing it. 

Whiskey

Tango 

Foxtrot

Me. I was doing it. I was keeping up. I was pushing. I was getting it. I was proud of myself. 

I am proud of me. ❤