Nee. The K is silent. 

Runner’s knee. Ridiculous when I’m not a runner, right? Well, tell that to my knees. LOL! Joe Barron was also told he has this. Also not a runner. 

Honestly, I hate when people ask about the kinesio tape. Maybe it is just the way that they asked about it. But having to defend the way that I take care of it, it isn’t any of their business. I guess I am still insecure about the entire thing.. 

Welp. I forgot to post this on Friday, September 9th. It was just really to vent though.

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Spam

This is fun. I decided I am having spam, eggs and rice for dinner. It is awesome. 

As much as I should just end there because it is totally a mic drop when we talk about awesome food, I have more about spam. It is that annoying thing we all get in our email inboxes about this, that or explict. LOL. So, it made me think of what happened today. 

This morning, I was pleasantly surprised that Crystal Lynn was inquiring about what the workout was going to look like later today. I am happy that she wanted to join us and was more motivated for today’s workout. 

As the day progressed, I didn’t want to do anything. The fact that there was so much work that needed to be done and I wasn’t near finished made me feel like we needed to skip the workout all together.

Spam. This is spam. That stuff that gets in the way of other things- productive things. 

Pero! Best part of this story is though we didn’t go all out, we still got a workout in! I’m happy CL came with because honestly, I probably would have just stayed working and made that the reason for missing activity today.

Boom

A little better everyday. People are noticing my hard work. I am noticing my hard work. I want this life so bad. It is not a fitness journey. 

It is a fitness lifestyle. 

I still struggle a bit with exercising and making sure I don’t hurt myself. There are more than a few times during a workout when I think I can-but probably shouldn’t do something. I know I need to listen to my body and make sure I do the modifications so that I can work the next day and the day after. Pushing myself so hard that I strain or injured myself again isn’t what I want to do. Obviously. But I am learning to keep myself accountable and really give it my all. I just know that my all today is better than my all last week. I am not at all saying that workouts are getting easier, I am just saying that I am not as miserable or hard on myself. 

I am gaining confidence. 

These changes that I am making in my life have given me more than I ever thought. If anyone thinks that being active and exercising is only for the body, they’ve got it all wrong. I am happier and feel better about myself. I would like to say that it isn’t because of the weight I’ve lost, that I have gained confidence but of course it is part of it. There are just so many things that I thought I could never do or swore I would never get to accomplish. I proved myself wrong so many times. Even being wrong was a hard thing for me to accept in the past. But it is really happening!


Proud

I am not sure of an actual time that I felt genuinely proud of myself. 

Though that may sound horribly sad, I think that because of that it makes me appreciate the feeling that much more! 

Friday was a rough class, I pushed myself. Again, I pushed myself. I have become fairly dependent on Rocky and Dawana encouraging me when I looked and felt defeated by the day, by the workout. But I had to do it alone.

It started off poorly as I failed to leave work in a timely manner to arrive to class on time. But I asked what I missed and caught up with the sweating part. LOL Honestly, I spent most of Friday dreading and worrying that the workout would be horrible because I was alone. 

So as the workout progressed, I tried heavier weights, I tried less water breaks, I tried not watching the clock. I didn’t die. I didn’t faint, I wasn’t behind, I was doing it. 

Whiskey

Tango 

Foxtrot

Me. I was doing it. I was keeping up. I was pushing. I was getting it. I was proud of myself. 

I am proud of me. ❤

So like..

Active. Being more active.

The other day, E4w asked me what my motivation was.

I told him that I wanted to catch up to Juju when he tries to escape, let Joseph know how being healthy is super important and finally I want to grow old with Joe.

I want to live long. I want it so bad I can see it. I can see me healthy, strong, happy. I am feeling like I can do this. That this can be a part of my life. That it will just be like going to work. I love it.

I am forever thankful to Dawana for pushing me and making me feel okay with myself and where I am. That I should be proud of my accomplishments and realize the work I am putting in. She is also my motivation. ☺

Canes and Placards

Boy, I wish I was talking about chicken fingers.

But I’m not. Sad face.

Yesterday, someone came over with a cane and I mentioned I should get one. I was joking but later that day, she came back and was like.. “I have other canes at home.” I know I’m not being nice by being weird about that. But oy. I can’t be in this boot any more. I want to walk again. My knee is over it all as well. I mean, I would like for the pain to be on just one side. It would help. Sigh.

Seeing the podiatrist today. Hopefully good news. I’m not handicap.

Journey

Not the band… lol

So. I am injured again. Bummer. But instead of being so down about it, imma move forward. There really isn’t more I can do but move forward.

image

So yes, I am very upset about the situation. But I am choosing to be fine with this because I am going to fucking win. I will not let any obstacles get the best of me. I have come too far for this.

I am getting really good at challenges. What’s a few more? 😉

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Seriously? I finally make a choice for myself. I finally decide that I am not going to be a lazy ass. I try to make a change in my life and I physically am limited. Ugh.

I get it. I know it. I am hard on myself. I expect too much. I know that this is a life change  but I am just so frustrated that there are things I am not physically able to do because of pain.

It isn’t that awesome, accomplished pain/sore you get from working out.. it is actual pain. I mean, from the fibromyalgia  symptoms to my general aches and my inflamed knee. Lord. Annoying.

I am going to see a podiatrist for the arch aches and I am preping myself for plantar faciatis. Another thing. Part of me wishes I was a hypochondriac but shit is actually wrong with me.

I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to be okay. I want to be happy.

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Discouraged

Don’t get me wrong, I am not doing this to be a size 2. I am doing it because I want to be healthy. I want to live a long life and I want to be strong for me. Strong for my family. (Here comes the butt. LOL) BUT, I am not losing any weight. I want to lose because I think I am big. Not because anyone else is stating it. meh. I am getting stronger though… which is awesome!

My quads are still sore from Thursday’s workout so today’s kickboxing class was not so smooth. I can’t believe I went today. I am sore. Real sore. Like limping sore AND I still went!

Today’s WW meeting was talking about attitude. I am trying to change so much about me! All good things though. I know I need to figure out the self hate. I can’t deal with the fact that I was getting choked up at a Weight Watchers meeting. At some point, I will believe I am awesome regardless of my size and or weight.

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WW

Hello world!

If it was easy, then everyone would do it.

You have to start somewhere.

It is good for you.

Oh. You know, just things you’ve probably heard when looking into or beginning an exercise program. I really have an issue with the first one. Everyone should just do it. Life is hard. Does that mean not everyone has to do that?

Of course everyone has to start somewhere. Ugh. Why are these things not motivating to me?

Lastly, there are a lot of things that are good for you. We hardly like to do any of them.

Not trying to be a bummer. Just thinking.